Date: 17/11/2011 23:01 Title: Chapter 3
Damn, I know you asked for advice towards imporvement,but I can't think of anything youcould improve! This is simply fabulous, especially Ales, and Yassen so perfectly in character! My heart's all a-flutter, 'tis great.
Update soon :D
Date: 03/11/2011 13:48 Title: Chapter 3
Please don't feel disheartened -- sadly it is quite hard to make people review stories and there is a lot of taketaketake without much give :(. The ARchive owners and admins suffer the same problems on their own stories, all of which are exceedingly popular on ffnet and livejournal. And yet, this site could be such an amazing community. So many members, so much talent! Please continue posting - I will endeavour to do better myself (under author name) and provide some decent feedback in the future.
Date: 27/10/2011 04:27 Title: Chapter 3
Hey, please don't feel disheartened. It's a good story, and well written. I'm interested in seeing what happens next. I'm sure people reading this are just like me: Don't normally write reviews.
If you're looking for critique I can't fault the writing I just don't feel it pulls you in as much as some. I'm afraid I can't advise on how to remedy that. Maybe making it a little more indepth and detailed, although that wouldn't have fitted the characters at this time. Sorry I can't help more but it is good and I for one want you to continue, please.